USA Military Actually Has A Zombie Plan (Conplan 8888) – You wake up one day and groggily rub the sleep out of your eyes. After a few moments you’re alert enough to reach for you phone- time to catch up on all the messages and instagram likes and facebook posts you missed during your sleep. Except your phone’s not working, you have no service- and that should be impossible because you recently ditched T-mobile.
Shrugging, you reach for your laptop and flip it open, double-clicking on Firefox because Safari and Chrome are trash browsers. Oddly, Firefox also refuses to load. You check your laptop’s connectivity and sure enough, no service again. Weird, you think to yourself, as you throw on some pants and check your desktop- which also has no internet connection.
Now edging to a full-blown First World panic, you head downstairs to make sure mom paid the internet bill. You find her there, in the kitchen, aimlessly mixing something. You can’t quite tell what it is because she has her back turned to you, but you think you hear her slightly. . . groaning? Hesitantly you call out to your mother, who’s body suddenly jerks as she turns around slowly, moving very, very stiffly.
As she turns to face you, you’re horrified to see her dead eyes staring at you, and with a growl of “brains!” she leaps for you!You make a run for it, rushing outside and fleeing for your life, but the neighbors spot you and take off running after you too!In seconds you’re being chased by a mob of zombified relatives and neighbors, and they’re almost upon you when you turn the corner and suddenly hear, “Get down!”.
Instinctively you duck down, and in front of you a military patrol in humvees opens up, . 50 caliber machine guns chewing the zombies to pieces. Overhead you hear the roar of jets as 500 pound bombs are being dropped all over your former suburban neighborhood. Welcome to the zombie apocalypse. The previous scenario has been a staple of science fiction for decades, and stories of zombie apocalypses have thrilled and terrified generations of humanity.
Yet for the United States military, the zombie apocalypse is no laughing matter, and they have a plan to stop it dead in its tracks, pun fully intended- Contingency Plan 8888. The United States military regularly creates think tanks who’s jobs are to envision future conflict or disaster scenarios, and then draw up military and civil responses to address these threats.
Throughout the years American war planners have created plans for everything from nuclear war with the Soviet Union, to an enemy invasion of the US mainland, to responding to a massive asteroid or comet strike on the planet earth. Incredibly, the US military also has several contingency plans to combat an alien invasion,and that’s no joke.
These plans are highly secretive, as are other contingency plans, and present military options to combat a variety of different alien invasion scenarios- at least as best as our limited technology allows. Yet one of these contingency plans is unclassified, and has been public knowledge for years- that’s Contingency Plan 8888.
Originally ConPlan 8888 was developed as a teaching tool for American military planners. It was meant to be a fun exercise that introduced new war planners to the complexities of developing realistic response plans to a variety of contingencies. Because of the threat of war plans being made public, the instructors behind the original ConPlan 8888 exercises wanted to use a completely fictional scenario, rather than using realistic scenarios with real nations that could be misconstrued in the public eye as an actual war plan.
Because the US military actually has realistic contingency plans to counter an alien invasion,it was decided that zombies presented the best option for developing a ‘practice’ war plan to allow students to learn the ins and outs of military planning. However, just because ConPlan 8888 was developed as a teaching exercise and not taken very seriously, does not mean that it isn’t a credible and fully functional plan, and if zombie sever did kick off an apocalypse, ConPlan 8888 would be there to save the US from extinction.
So what does ConPlan 8888 involve? First, the plan addresses the threats from a variety of different types of zombies. First is the PZ, or pathogenic zombies. These are zombies who are created after a host is infected by a virus, bacteria, or other form of contagion. Next are Rzs, or Radiation Zombies- these are zombies created by extreme exposure to electromagnetic and/or particle radiation.
EMZs are evil magic zombies, or zombies created by an evil, occult force. Szs, or Space Zombies are zombie life forms that originate from outer space, or created by the toxic contamination of the earth’s environment by an extra-terrestrial source. WZs, or weaponized zombies, are zombies which have been developed in a lab somewhere to be used as a military weapon, perhaps deployed by a foreign adversary.
SIZs are Symbiant-induced zombies, or zombies who are created by the introduction of a symbiant life form into a healthy host. The symbiant keeps the host alive, but acting as its personal puppet. VZs, or Vegetarian zombies, are zombies who do not feed on flesh- human or otherwise-but rather who feed on plant life, such as zombies from the Plants Vs Zombies series of video games.
These zombies pose just as great a threat to humanity due to their appetite for vegetation which can cause massive deforestation and the destruction of food crops. Lastly, the plan addressed the threat posed by CZs, or Chicken zombies, which are the only type of zombie that actually exist. These zombies are produced when chickens are improperly euthanized with carbon monoxide and left in a pile of bodies, only for the still living chicken to crawl its way out of the pile and walk around until organ failure kills it.
Next the plan moves on to discuss the effect of the environment on both zombies and the surviving human population. It notes that pathogenic zombies will be vulnerable to ultraviolet light, thanks to UV light’s ability to impair the function of RNA which comprises most viral life forms. Thanks to this sensitivity, pathogenic zombies are not expected to be active during noon or in bright, sunny conditions, and will likely be active at night.
Evil magic zombies, space zombies, vegetarian zombies, and weaponized zombies are believed to be immune to any extreme meteorological phenomena except for fires, floods, tornadoes or tsunamis. For human survivors, the plan stresses the need for rainwater conservation, seeing as most public services will no longer be working.
Also ground water or stream and river water is not recommended for drinking, as it will be unknown if it could be a vector for zombie infection. Humans who don’t shelter-in-place in locations that protect from the direct effect of air currents also run the risk of zombie infection, if the pathogen or zombification source is airborne.
From here, the plan moves on to 5 phases of response to a zombie outbreak. Upon news of the dead rising from their graves, or evil wizards creating zombie hordes, the US military will initiate Phase 0 of ConPlan 8888. This phase is also called, ‘Shape the Environment’, and will focus on giving US warfighters as great warning time and strategic advantage against the zombie hordes as possible.
Military and civil agencies will monitor disease vectors for possible zombification, identifying any ways that infection can spread and taking precautionary measures. With constant monitoring the US military will be ready once the outbreak reaches critical levels, or is unleashed in full inside North America.
All military forces will engage in renewed HAZMAT training as well as Nuclear, Biological,and Chemical warfare training, already a routine part of US military training. Phase 1, Deterrence, will begin upon receipt of a WARNORD, or Warning Order, by US strategic command. In a normal war plan, this phase of planning involves displays of military power so that foreign adversaries are deterred from hostile action.
Because zombies cannot be reasoned with or intimidated however, other forces which could further spread a zombie plague or aid in a zombie apocalypse, such as terrorist groups,adversary nations, and unethical bio research companies are targeted instead. Phase 1 will see the US military initiate large-scale training meant to show any would-be human collaborators that the US military can still operate within a toxic and contaminated environment, hopefully deterring evil bio research companies or terrorists from aiding the zombie apocalypse.
Phase 2, Seize the Initiative, will begin upon receipt of an alert order by US Strategic command. This will immediately initiate a complete recall of all military and reserve personnel,and the immediate implementation of all continuity of operations plans. COOP plans as they are known are meant to ensure that no matter what happens, all of the major military commands are able to continue functioning, as well as the civilian government.
The plan will deploy all ground, naval, and airborne command and control nodes, with preparations to remain deployed for at minimum 35 days. This will ensure that the US military remains in control of its forces no matter what happens next. US Strategic Command will reach out to potential adversary nations such as Russia and China and inform them of preparation for counter-zombie operations, conducting confidence-building measures to ensure these nations don’t believe the mobilization is using the zombie threat as a cover for military action against their own countries.
The US Air Force’s Global Strike command, in conjunction with assets from the other services, will immediately generate forces for strike missions against zombie horde concentrations not just here in the US, but abroad. The rest of the US military will immediately begin fortifying civilian defense zones and enforcing quarantines where applicable.
Phase 3, Dominance, will initiate a massive American military response against the zombie threat. Combat operations must be swift and completely eradicate zombie concentrations, as even alone survivor can reignite a zombie outbreak. Cities and other major population centers may need to be indefinitely blockaded by military forces while the civilians are relocated to more remote areas.
Phase 4, Stabilization, will begin no earlier than at least 40 days after the initiation of Phase 3 operations. US military forces will begin initiating local reconnaissance operations in order to determine the strength of surviving zombie forces. They will also locate isolated pockets of survivors and shepherd them to secure areas, as well as survey the status of basic civil services such as power, water, sewage and lines of communication.
Recon forces will also conduct surveys of the epidemiological security of the local environment, ascertaining if a lingering zombie infection threat is still remaining. Phase 5, Normalization, will see US military forces aid in the reestablishment of civil authority. Commercial and civilian infrastructure will be repaired as best as possible, and the restoration of functioning civil services will be a top priority.
ConPlan 8888 aims to prepare the US military to stop a zombie apocalypse dead in its tracks,and highlights the specific actions that local forces need to take in order to ensure their survival and the continued ability to fight back against the zombie hordes. The plan does highlight some current strategic limitations however, such as a lack of a dedicated counter-zombie military task force.
There is also the difficulty in ensuring a zombie is truly neutralized, though the plan does recommend that military forces burn all bodies thoroughly. Other strategic limitations include the inability to maintain airborne command posts in the air past a week. This is because while in-flight refueling could keep airborne command posts operational for a month or perhaps even more if needed, the air fields that support the tankers which would fuel these aircraft would likely be overrun by zombies very quickly.
There are also serious defensive deficiencies for many of the nation’s ground-based command and control nodes, as few command and control nodes within the United States are hardened facilities capable of withstanding a relentless horde of zombies. ConPlan 8888 recommends that facilities maintain a stockpile of lumber and train their personnel how to weld, so they can better secure their facilities against outside intrusion.
Lastly, the plan warns that there is little useful scientific data to be used by the US military to counter a zombie threat, and war planners may need to turn to popular media for inspiration on destroying the walking dead. There is also a dire warning within ConPlan 8888 that of all the different types of zombies that the US military may have to face, evil magic zombies may prove to be the most difficult to defeat, as they are animated by evil magic. The plan suggests the recruitment of the Chaplain Corps to combat this threat.
Do you think any plan could really stop a zombie apocalypse? What type of zombie would you be most afraid of?